Babyblur

super junior - no other

2011-02-14T19:58:00.000-08:00

I put on my earphone;
super junior - no other

This song is so sweet that my heart skip a beat as I fantasized about it.
As I browse through the FB, tryna keep up with my friends activity, I felt a sudden urge to click on the profile. Though I would have done that yesterday, but I hesitated back then. Now I know the reason why.
Its kinda bitter sweet to me. I felt happy and sweet for the souls have already found each other and sad at the same time because I could never be one of those souls.
This is not the first time I felt in love and definitely not the first time having a crush. But having a crush is painful, because they crush your heart every time and you know you'll never had a chance. It wasn't easy, not even hard; maybe because this wasn't my first time, yet it hurt enough to bring me down, every time.

This particular day must be very special; not for me duh~~~; but for them =3
Finally admitted their feelings to each other and revealing it to public. It might not be easy for them to confess to the public. But I glad that they got blessings from everyone! How beautiful is that?
Tho I felt rejected in such gentle way, yet I never regret bout it. At least I did not embarrassed myself confessing bout how I felt. I do thought about it, bt thinking that I'll never get a chance and have absolute no chance of "winnning" the heart over. So I choose to keep quiet instead.

Its no big deal. Yet I need to comfort myself a little.
I still have my earphone on:
super junior - no other

This song echoes through my ear. Though its a sweet love song for one to sing to confess love to their valentine, tho just felt rejected, but this is the only way which I can do to comfort myself.
Anyway, Blessing to them! ^^

Kiwi: Unexpected Trip 7

2010-11-23T22:20:00.000-08:00

Renaissance art ornate across the walls of the room. There's only one large window that is covered by an old fashioned drape. An antique table in the middle of the room. Sitting behind was the deformed man in cloak. His finger reach and touched onto a metal snake shape on his table. It came alive and slither onto his index finger. Then it wraps around the finger and regress into metal again.
A Man in armor steps into the room,

"Your Master Devious, she's arrived"

"I want to see her"

"Yes, Master"

After a moment the armored man gone, came in a lady into the room. Covered up like a ninja outfit. She kneel before Master Devious.

"Master Devious."

"Speak."

"Everything as planned. Before long the Stone will be attain."

"Excellenssss. But how long?"

"Soon."

"Greatss. Leave and complete your mission before meeting me next time"

Waking in the morning, Tomato get himself ready for his morning classes and Lemon yawn her way down into kitchen. Dad already leave for his job. Suddenly a stone was thrown, breaking the kitchen table and landed inside the jar of lemonade with a big splash.

"Oh my goodness! You two help me with it," Mom said.

Both Lemon and Tomato start helping. Tomato notice the stone. He took it out from the jar and studied it carefully.

"Tom, stop staring at stone and help me to clean up. Seriously, what happen to the teen nowadays. Tom, throw that stone away and..."

Tomato wasn't listening to his mum. Everything around him muted slowly and eventually frozen everything that's moving. He inspect the stone carefully, it seems like exactly the same stone he got in the coat he wore the day he brought Kiwi back from that forest. Its much of a oval shape with twirl and swirl of delicate carving on its surface. The only difference is the color. This time its turquoise. The lines of the twirl and swirl start glowing and vibrate till it slips off Tomato's finger and rolled on the kitchen floor. The noise slowly came into Tomato hearing sense while everything slowly starts moving again.

"...you hear me Tom? Throw that away and help me with this mess," Mum said to Tomato

Tomato try not to seems to be so surprised by what happened earlier. He grab the stone on the floor and rushes up into his room. Mum and Lemon look at each other puzzled by Tomato's bizarre behaviour. After cleaning Lemon went to look at Tomato.

Kiwi: Unexpected Trip 6

2010-11-23T04:58:00.000-08:00

Kiwi starts to gain conscious and realizes she is in a cage. It creaks. Kiwi walked slowly toward the side of the cage then look outside. To her dismay, she's in a cage hanging above a pool filled with volcano liquid. She step back, but lost her balance and fell lying down.

"Where am I? Mr. Cat, where are you?"

In the Forbidden Forest, Mr. Cat try to track down every path possible in search of Kiwi's trail. Step by step he carefully looks around then continue his purpose. His cat sense tingled him. He heard something rustle in between the shaded area of the tree. A figure dashes toward Mr. Cat and set a kick on him. Sending him tumbling on the floor. He quickly regained his balance and stands up with his hands reaching across to grab his fighting device.

"Cat?"

That familiar voice got Mr. Cat stunned for a second.
"Strawberry?"

The cloth that covers the face was removed. Small nose and tiny pouty lips with a bright pink eyes on a heart shape face. Her pale skin glows under the moonlight gleam.

"Cat, its been sometime"

"Strawberry where have you been?!"

"Why, finally admit that you're missing me??" *chuckles*

Cat blushes away,
"Like I would"

"You're cute like you've always been, Cat. Say, what were you doing here anyway?"

"I'm on my mission to protect-this's confidential. You, I have not heard any from you last few years. I wonder."

Strawberry went closer to Cat. Look him in the eye.
"You're concern bout me anyway. But lets get goin' cuz its dark here...and its not safe"

Cat grab her arm swiftly,
"Not until you explain"

He gave her a stern yet gentle look. Strawberry sighed and took his hand and dash into thin air through the jungle holding Cat's hand firmly. Cat look at Strawberry dreamily. He sees only her, anythings else was not in his focus. Though the cold breeze brushes his skin, he feels so comfortable and warm being with her, especially when she's holding his hand. Strawberry look over and smile at him. Then they stopped at the top of a huge tree. This tree is unusually larger than other trees. There's a small wooden house under the shades of the leaves. Strawberry lead him inside. The wooden house is quite neat and everything is well placed.

"I've been living in here."

Still puzzled, he gazed at Strawberry as if he's demanding a more detail explanation from her. Pick up his signal, Strawberry smiles and continue,

It's a bliss to have met you. You were just a junior when I first met you, and I really excited when they put you under my care. Cat, I murmur your name whenever I'm thinking of you. We do get along well don't we? Throughout the times, I've been your mentor. Guiding you in the very best way that I could ever train you to be. Never have I noticed that I've already harbors feeling towards you, Cat. Over the period of time, I'm really happy being with you. But I did not see that coming. They, say I had a mission. I've always willingly accept one whenever possible. But not this one and not this time. I've been told that she'll reached 18th in few years time. I was assigned to protect this girl regardless of whats standing in my way...Giving away everything I've got in order to protect her. They want me to give up my life and focus only to protect that-that, oh-Venus. They wouldn't tell me why I must do that and I know deep...deep down inside the corner of my heart, that I couldn't gave you up. I-I L..OVE you, I love you Cat.

As she finished, she hug on Cat sobbing and Cat covered her in his arm. Feeling great empathy for her, at the same time touched by what he heard.

"That's why you ran away without notice? Is that it, Strawberry?"

Cat placed his hand on Strawberry's cheek,
"Life's been lonely without you. Yeah, you're right about me missing you."

"Cat, the moon...is beautiful right?"

"Indeed, the most beautiful ever in my life"

Kiwi, tied up by a cursed rope. Bruises all over her hand and her wounds were bleeding. She was forced to kneel before a deformed man covered in a large piece of dark cloak.

"Tell me, young girl. WHere Is IT?!"

"Like I said I don't know what you're talking bout!"

He grab Kiwi's face. His bony fingers pressed hardly on Kiwi's cheek. As Kiwi sobs while gave him a hard stares.

"You're a hard one eh?"

He frowned at her as he lifted his body above her and looking down at her,
"Locked her up in the chamber!"
Upon saying so, he disappeared into thin air.

A guy steps out from the shadow
"Yes, master."

Kiwi's eyes widen with shock and mix feeling inside her almost made her speechless.
"You?!? You're that blond hair guy at the training field!"

The blond hair guy look at her,
"You're that clumsy girl!"
Both of them were shocked to see each other, very much to their surprise that they meet again in such condition.

Kiwi: Unexpected Trip 5

2010-11-23T01:31:00.000-08:00

Tomato can't sleep on that night, and he don't know why.
He went to Lemon's room which is just next door. Knocking on the plastic made door gently and wait for an answer. Thought she was asleep he turn around heading back when the door suddenly open. He look back and saw Lemon.

"Hey, bro. Something bothering you huh?"

"Yeah, Don't know why I can't sleep"

"Don't tell me u missed that little brat?"

*Laughter*

"HEy, you're only two years senior than me. I can see somethings bothering you too."

"That's why you're my bro. Why don't you tell yours first?"

"I feel strange, cuz I had this same dream a few nights ago...The day Kiwi went missing"

"Really? Me too."

They look at each other. Feeling that something's off the track.
Silent filled the room.

"Bro, you remember how the last trip at the penthouse was?"

"Yeah. Fun turns into chaotic and finally things gets okay in the end we still have fun though"

"Oh yeah, how you found Kiwi?"

Tomato's looking back into his memory, and then starts telling what really happens that day.

Step by step he walked. Frantically yelling Kiwi's name like how other family members did. Suddenly, he saw a cat. It has the most beautiful blue eyes and its as if that it can look through him. The cat turn to the bushes and look back over his shoulders at Tomato as if it wanted Tomato to follow it. It went into the bushes, and Tomato did follow it. Tomato follow the cat went deeper and deeper into the bushes and finally came into a light that blinds his sight. Slowly Tomato recover his sight. Widen his eyes amazed by what he saw, the colors of the sky with lots of star shining above Tomato. Few phoenix enjoy flying themselves in the sky, as unicorns drink the crystal clear water flowing down towards east, the beauty of the nature in front of him is nothing he could find the world. A sudden tap, wakes his sense. A hooded human figured stand beside him. Tomato back away.
A voice came from it,

"I'll bring you to her"

Confused yet eager to get his sister, he followed that hooded figure.

"She's a gift, right Tomato?"

Looking at the hooded figure Tomato nodded and adds
"How you know my name?"

"She's sent to protect us. Confirmation clarified. Lucky we could save her"

Confused, Tomato stare at him.
"What you mean?"

"We're here"

The hooded figure point to a crystal bed where Kiwi rest on it.

"Kiwi!"

Tomato rushes to Kiwi shaking her trying to bring Kiwi into conscious.

"Take her back, secure her. Until her 18th arrive The Day"

"What ar-"

"Halt the discussion, Kiwi needs rest. Remember, until her 18th arrive"

Saying so, the hooded figure chanted some murmurs and a phoenix flew and land in front of them.
"Ride this sacred creature which guide you back"

Saying so, the hooded man disappeared into thin air.

"But that wasn't what I heard from you last 8 years ago"

"I know, I told a lie because no one would ever believed me. They'll think I'm lunatic or something."

"Oh, Tomato. You carry this alone all this years? We're siblings, don't do that again okay?"

"Okay Lemon."

"Say, isn't it weird that this came to you again-I mean its like suddenly such things bounce back to you after all this year in your dream"

"You think it means something?"

"Sort of...I guess"

They both didn't further their discussion instead they bid goodnight to each other and calls it a night. Tomato went to his room and tug into his bed sheet. He didn't notice something was glowing in his drawer with a subtle fog coming out from the opening of the drawer. It vibrates gently and end with sudden halt. The fog stopped and no glowing notice.

Why can't he leave me alone?!!!

2010-08-07T23:52:00.000-07:00

the guy, MACHA from previous camp I had went, he tried to call me yesterday.
I had refused to pick up.
In fact, I had obviously rejected him.
But he has been trying to call me and sending me obnoxious messages as if like we're a couple breaking up.
Like this morning he sent me
"Thank you for no answering my call :("
He been sending all this messages. What's into his mind?
He's acting like this get my attention.
WEll congrats, he able to make me hate him even more!
The truth is, I don't even know this fucking guy.
He came around to get my number and expect me to accept him.

Buzz off!
That's what I have in mind when I 1st met him.
But I was too soft hearted that instead of telling what is on my mind, I gave him my number and trying to be a 'miss nice girl'.
I think this is stalking. My goodness!
God PLEASE make him disappear from my life.
Its annoying and terrifies me at the same time.

Those who read this must be thinking why I'm not letting my family know bout this huh?
Duh, they obviously gonna blame it on me.
Like they always do, they gonna say,
"Why would you gave him ur number in the 1st place?"
"Why would you even be nice in the 1st place?"
Bla, bla, bla...

Themself acting nice then its alright, but when other people acting nice they'll scoff them or even being sarcastic to those who trying to be nice.
Telling other people about this wasn't going to help but makes things worst.
Either to me or any other.
If I told my friends, I bet they can't understand how it feels like being stalk, not physically, but psychologically stalking. Instead they might be showing various unnecessary facial expression which causes me more uncomfortable. For example, a poker face telling me its gonna be alright (but in fact it was giving me the impression that it was doubting me), Or showing a sympathy looks as if it was trying to be empathy of my situation then move on like nothing happen and so do others expression.

Reporting to police station?
I think it would be such a fuss even those policemen might think that I was overreacting.
This case is too small that doesn't worth their time to investigate.
Besides. I might gonna pay for it. Where do I get money?
Telling it to public service? I doubt how's that gonna help me get that f**king stalker way off from my life.
There's a chance they might ask me to do something which might gonna attracted media.
I think these all too risky towards my precious life.

I'm carrying this particular burden since I came back from the camp.
That's why whenever I was ask whether I enjoy or not, "I would totally enjoy" was my reply.

Kiwi : Unexpected Trip 4

2010-07-24T06:44:00.000-07:00

Sitting around the burning fire, silence take over as both of them sits there.
Kiwi look at Mr. Cat and she realize the he wasn't bad looking at all. Mr. Cat turn his head and their eyes meet. Feeling shy, Kiwi avoid his eyes by looking the other way.

"So, why you're here?" Kiwi finally breaks the silence.

"Though you needed help" Mr. Cat said.

Kiwi confused by the answer, "What you mean?"

Mr. Cat notice her reaction towards his answer, "Its complicated. Why are you here?"

Kiwi told him whatever had happen. Nodding his head, indicate he was listening well to her.

"This is a set up" Mr. Cat finally said after Kiwi finished.
"Set up?"
"Yes. Nobody was allowed to enter this forest even during training. Its prohibited here"
"My Goodness! Why would they want to do that?"
"That's what bothering me. I even felt it since the day I saw you."

Kiwi look at Mr. Cat, shocked.
"What do you mean by that sentence of yours?"
"It complicated. Its bugging me too. I don't know why"

Kiwi wandering that her six sense was not mistaken, she is right about Mr. Cat looking at her.

"That's how you manage to allocate me?"
"Yes. But the problem is, how are going to get out from here?"
"What?! Though you know the way in but not out?!? How ridiculous!"
"Hey, be respectful for I come a long way JUST to find you in here OKAY?!"
"WEll don't even bother doing so, that if you don't know the way out from here and you should ASK someone else did so!"
"You know what? I was wrong coming in here all the way to find you which cause danger to me. I shouldn't have been worried about you!"

Both of them stop suddenly.
'I shouldn't have been worried about you' the sentence repeated in Kiwi's mind. 'what does he mean?' Kiwi questioned that in her mind.

Mr. Cat slap his palm on his forehead, "Forgotten when was the last time I got so mad"
"I'm sorry"
"I'm sorry too, whats important now is that we rest for tomorrow will be a long exhausting day."

Kiwi closes her eyes and unconsciously fall asleep.

"MR. CAT, would yo-you slow-slow d-down?" Kiwi tries hard to grasp some air into her lungs as she try to catch up with Mr. cat's face pace up the mountain.

"Mr. Cat?"
Kiwi groans and mumbles as she catching up with Mr. Cat.

"A little more, we'll be reaching the top."
"Mr. Cat?"
"Yes."
"Why are we going up to mountain top?"
"To find the way out of course. On top we can see everything"

By the time they reach the mountain top, its evening. Kiwi groans and grasp for air on her way up to the mountain top. But she was fascinated by the breathtaking scene of the sunset.
"BEautiful" Kiwi mutters unconsciously.
Kiwi smiles as the wind blows gently on her face and hair. Her natural brown, long hair was lifted a little by the wind. She close her eyes enjoying the nature's gentle touch.

Mr. Cat looking at Kiwi's expression and think 'If only she was here, bet I could have this scene with her. Where are you, strawberry?'

Kiwi noticed that Mr. Cat looking at her, "You gave some creeps as you look at me and smile like that."
"Oh, Sorry. Just thinking back to my memory lane."
"Well, you better don't do that again or you'll be falling for me in a seconds"

Kiwi try to joke, but Mr. Cat gave her a cold look.

"Find a place. We'll rest and continue our journey tomorrow." Mr.Cat says as he turn around.

Kiwi looking at him collecting woods for the fire tonight. Then she continue to collect some leave as she thought of using it as a sheet for them to lie on. On her progress, Kiwi notice a blotch on the floor. She went closer to have a close look on it. SWOOSH! Something just pass quickly among the bushes. Then, something reached out and pulled her leg and she let out a scream. In a moment she was lifted by a strong arm and something hit hard on her neck. Galloping all the way through the forest. Kiwi in half conscious state manage to catch a glimpse of Mr. Cat chasing up to her from behind. She could hear him calling out for her name. 'Mr.Cat' Kiwi try to call. But her vision slowly blur into darkness.

Kiwi: Unexpected Trip 3

2010-07-24T06:14:00.000-07:00

On this fine morning, Kiwi's mum is making a delicious apple for the breakfast. The sweet scent of apple freshen up the morning as dad walks into the kitchen. Wrapping his wife in arm and give her a gentle kiss on the cheek.

"Darling, you want some apple pie?"
"Sure, nothing more delicious than your hand make food"

Both of them laughs.
Mum hands dad a piece of nicely cut apple pie and they both sat down on the table enjoying their breakfast.

"Honey, somethings missing," dad says as he look around.
"You mean our sweetheart?" mum reply knowing the clue written on her husband's face.
"yes, where's Kiwi?" dad wasn't used to new condition as usually Kiwi would gently hug him and had breakfast along with them.
"She went to camping trip. Haven't I told you that darling?"

Dad raising one of his eyebrow as he try to recall it.
"The camping venue?"

Now silent filled the room as mum goes through her memory to answer dad's questions.

"Mum, Dad mornin' I'mma leavin. Not home dinner tonight" Tomato says as he grab a piece of apple pie on his way out of kitchen.

Tomato is Kiwi's beloved brother. They fight a lot but its for fun and not a serious fight.
Six years older than Kiwi. Brunette of beach hair style, hazel eyes, had every girls falling head over heels for him and humorous. He'll be superb nice when he's in good mood.

"Tomato, have your sister told where she went?"
"To camp."
"Where?"
"Not sure, thought it was written on the letter? Mom, Dad I'm goin. bye" Tomato wave as he dash out catching with his friends in limo.
"Bye sweetheart. Love you"
"Mum" he groan as he blush.

Dad turned to mum, "Perhaps you can check it for me honey?"
Mum smiles putting down her cup of mocha and heading upstairs. Dad feel something was off.
His memory went back to the day, that particular day when he took his family for a trip.

A happy vacation in a penthouse which they've booked. They went to cruised around and walk in a street as there was small stalls along the street. Celebrations was going on, drumming, cymbals and cheers.
As they were to caught up in a crystal stall, Kiwi went missing. Chaos started.
They went panic. Mum keeps asking if anyone saw Kiwi by describing how Kiwi looks like. As dad went and report to the authorities. Tomato went to places where he thought Kiwi might love to visit. Lemon, Kiwi's sister, went along with mum. Dad's heart throbbing hard, as if like he could hardly breathe as he try to keep his head together.
About 3am, Tomato came back carrying his sister in arm. Kiwi, looking pale, fainted unconsciously. They rushes her to hospital. There, they spent a night and finally relieved when doctor announced that Kiwi recovers and will be able to leave the hospital on the next day.

Dad knows what he felt back there. A sudden rush of blood to whole body. Lesser red blood cell provided on his face, making him look pale. His hand was sweaty and as if his heart is falling out of chest. Not to mentions many unfortunate images passes through his mind.

He shake his head off from that memory. Mum coming down from stairs holding a letter. She hand it to dad,
"There you go"
Dad took it and pull out the letter from the envelope.
He read it. Feeling satisfied, he was relieved. Putting the paper down,
"How schools nowadays change so much. Especially since we moved in here a while ago."
"Time waits for no man"
smiling to her beloved husband she took the empty cup to the sink.
"I better get going. Its about time."
Land a kiss on his wife, grab his briefcase and car keys,
"Bye honey. Love you"
"Love you too"

Lemon just came down from her room, "Bye dad"
"Lemon, You're late today"
"Yeah it's Saturday, dad"
Dad smile and continue walking towards his car.

Lemon, still her pyjama, greeted her mum.
They continue their routine.

Only if they really knows what is happening to Kiwi.

Kiwi : Unexpected Trip 2

2010-07-10T02:19:00.000-07:00

"Let the class begin!", Mr. Cat summoned. Everyone starts running around while kiwi was standing there wondering what happen.
"KiwIEeeee! get dowN!", Orange shouted.
SwOOSh! Kiwi manage to avoid that heavy swing of a metal ball. When she look at the right there's another coming at her. Kiwi could not move. She stand there as her eyes widen.
Before she got hit, someone grab her out of the way which save Kiwi from serious injure.
Looking up she saw a guy, a blond hair guy looking down at her,
"What you think you're doing?! You might as well get yourself hurt back there!"
Kiwi freezes. Than she got angry,
"Hey, just because you saved me doesn't mean you ca-"
That blond hair guy pulled her so hard that she falls in his arms.
A sudden shock got to both of them and they quickly get a distance from each other.
Looking away he told, "You almost got hit. Just beware although this is just training. You'll be hurt badly."
Then he turns away continue his running.
Kiwi watch as he runs into the fog and disappeared. Someone grab Kiwi,
"Why are you standing here? We've gotta reach the destination", Orange said.
"What destination?"
"Just follow me,"

Orange said as she hold Kiwi's hand and tries to find a way through the fog.
Finally, They were out of the fog.
But there was no one there.
There was a pond with bright green water which can be seen through and it was surrounded by trees with bushes. They were in forest now.
That place is very peaceful. Kiwi felt something was off.
"Orange, where are we?"
"I-I don't know...Is it m$#%^%?"
"Yes, Orange? I cant hear what you wanna say"
"Oh, its nothing Kiwi,"
"Orange...This place is too quiet-"

WOARRGH!!!
A sudden roar sent both of them screaming like hell. They ran in opposite direction. Kiwi was jumping, running, panting and breathing so hard with the air brushing through her skin...till she finally stops and look around. She notice Orange wasn't following her.
"OORANGE?!"
She starts to panic. Kiwi walks around wildly try to see if she could find Orange.
"ORange!" she shouted.
Then she saw that night going to fall upon the forest. She realize she was still somewhere in the forest. She flopped down onto the ground, feeling hopeless. There she sat for awhile, before long the night falls.

Kiwi finally reassemble herself, standing up trying to find some woods to light up fires. When she collecting the woods, Kiwi heard a branches crack, probably someone or SOmething step on it. She quickly hid behind the nearest bushes. Inside, Kiwi pry (peep) through the bushes and saw a figure. She clasp her hand over her mouth and nose to cover it up so that her breath could not be heard and to prevent herself from making noises.

That figure walk around and checking on the ground. Then it move closer to Kiwi's hiding place. Kiwi shut her eyelid so hard that her tears got squeeze out. Her hearts racing, her hands were cold and she's sweating. That figure push part of the bushes aside and,
"Found you!"
Kiwi look up at that figure. It was Mr.Cat!

PLEeease...LEAVE me AlllllonEEEEEEEEEEeeeeee!!!!!

2010-06-17T07:59:00.000-07:00

Putting on my headset enjoying the paramore - the only exception song.
Suddenly I got struck by sudden shocking of frightening, disgusted plus annoying feeling.
I just saw a name which my mind was automatically went alarming sending message to the brain to anti it.

Guess what, its this guy name Vinoth Kumar guy that keeps on harassed me (this is how I think of).
LEts see when this thing started. It's all started at the Camp there.
That's why I keep on telling everybody its a terrifying experience for me (besides this there's other contributing factor).

He came and talk to me like he known me and trying to be so close.
He even got my pictures. Disgusting! Annoying!
I don't know him whatsoever, back then he tried to get my phone numbers.
He keeps on asking my number as if, if I don't give him, he'll keeps on bothering me.
So I gave just to shut the f*** of him off.

Dang! Such st**** mor** j**k I am to give off my number. I should have stay with my thought and strongly refused even if it means he's going to keeps on harassed me. Well he did mentally harass me in other way.

This guy nickname Macha(Vinoth Kumar) thought he was so...aug *vomit*
Whatever, the problem here is, he keeps on bothering me.
EVEn when I've tried to avoid him and ignoring him. He keeps on sending me messages which I thought is so f***ing nonsense that wasted my golden nano seconds to read it.

He even tried to talk to me EVen When I have already put on a long face which cleary showed him the "LEAVE ME ALONE" signs.
He even ask my friends to betrayed me by giving him info bout me.
I don't know whats the way he used to persuade my friend which my friend actually believed him 100% and even tried to help him to persuade me instead.

Feeling so betrayed by my so called "friend".
I don't know how could I ever face that "FRIEND" of mine so calmly ever again.

He terrifies me. Asking me for forgiveness acting as if I purposely make him do so which picture him to so angelically innocent. I don't even know why he does that. He's harrasing me then he's asking for forgiveness?!
How I wish I could str***le him.
CAuse he is torturing and harassing me mentally which I almost so @#$%*&#$@@%* #%@*& #$.

Thought after the camp he'll just leave me alone but he never did so. he sent nonsense messages and tried to add me at the F***b**k!
He even asks my "friend" to try and spied on me.
I thought after the camp I could lead a happy life of mine!
But he reminds me of his existence which terribly ruined my peaceful life here.
This also reminds me how I was betrayed back then by my trusted "friend" and all these s****d things that terrifies me.
He's like desperately trying to budge in people's personal life and I call that harassment.
yeah harassment, mentally.

I wished, hoped and WIshed so much I could shout :
LEAVE ME ALONE!!!
AAARRRGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LEAVE ME ALONEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

But I know in this case no one can help me.
As I'm writing this blog tears flows down my cheeks.
It really terrifies me.
I was helpless because of my own st**** action back then (giving out my number).

Yeah, I do look tough back then...or any other time...but I'm crushing and tumbling at the inside.
I'm having some psychology conflicts now.
I can't let my enemy knows I'm afraid or I'll be in danger.
SO I must pretend to protect myself.

I can't help but to cry alone...now...before...
I bEG, BEGGING so that particular VINOTH KUMAR (MACHA) Would just vanish from my life.
HE brings me too much frightening, terrifying and a pain in my brain and its not healthy for my mental. It makes me want to suicide :'(

Please, make it away.
...
ple-aase...
...
:'(

Kiwi : Unexpected Trip 1

2010-06-14T06:07:00.000-07:00

She has a name.
Kiwi.
She's a happily living little girl, mentally. Well, she's eighteen.
Not an angel, not even a devil.
Just like any other normal girl, she is naughty but she can be quite obedient at times.
According to her moods.
She is still little girl.
Innocent.
Pure and very naive.

One day, She was chosen for a trip to a resort camp. Delighted she dance to her mum and tell her bout it.
Seeing her daughter so excited bout it, she couldn't refuse her daughter's wish to go.
After permission was granted, Kiwi pack her things happily and ready for her trip on the next day.
Never had she known what awaits in future that would change her forever.

Early morning she woke up, brush teeth, breakfast and so on.
When the times come, Kiwi got her bags beside her waiting at the street for the arranged ride like what was written in the tickets.
Stepping into the ride, got her place and waved good bye to her mum.
Although her mum was worried as her daughter never left the home alone for such trip.
"Maybe she'll learn something out there," her mum thought.

Kiwi found that she wasn't the only one. There was this girl with her over large sunglasses, pink outfits and the branded pink bag was sitting beside Kiwi.

"Hi, I'm Peach. Excuse me, but are you from the rich and famous?" She mocked while looking at Kiwi feet to head.

"Oh hi, I'm Kiwi. No. My mum's a dishwasher, maid paid by hour," Kiwi smiles and reply without noticing the mock.

"Oh, a low class living even get a chance?! How awful is this low grade trip! Get some distance you lowly ranked rodent," Disgusted, Lemon looked away.

Stump by what she heard, Kiwi was both disappointed and sad. This is her first encounter with such person. Why is she acting so? Whats wrong being a dishwasher? Have I done something that make her mad of me? All types of question came into Kiwi mind. But she ignore it as she knows she couldn't find the answers.

Arriving at the resort after 2 and a half hours of travel. Both Kiwi and Lemon was lead to a hall.
There they see others as well. Same age as Kiwi herself.
Kiwi began looking around the hall. A large well built chandelier was at the middle of the building and was surrounded by smaller chandeliers that is more than enough to light up the whole hall.
The windows are as large as an adult human with some well carve golden ornament on it.
Each and every thing were shiny clean and well placed. Making the building looks so elegant.

Ding!
A spoon was hit gently on the metal wine glass.
Everyone in the hall look up and saw a man standing on the stage like floor with few well design small stairs. He has a blue cat eye and short spiky hair that is same width with his forehead.
'Weird that human have such look' Kiwi think to herself.

"Now that you have arrived here. I shall give a briefing bout the activities here."
"We'll refer you all as a warrior from now on."

Cheers followed by claps from the crowd.

"This is no ordinary resort camp. You were chosen to play the game. Before that we'll have Us understand there's rules must be obey.
1st, obey the rules written
2nd, follow the instructions given
3rd, take vito advice seriously
For your information, we'll have 4 groups : Aphangger, Brocrier, Cornilius, and Devinner.
Each group will be guided by 4 vito.
Everything is provided here and warriors may get it after this assembly. You'll learn more when you get the rule book. Okay get your things warriors"

Everybody starts moving.

Kiwi was a little shocked yet thrilled by it. She never been to any camp before. She never felt so nervous like this. Suddenly someone bump in and Kiwi gained consciousness again and look around. Than she saw a long orange hair girl. She had big moisty eye, with good body ratio and fair skin. She's a little plump too. In short, she seems cute, cuddly and innocent.

"Oh, so-sorry. I'm O-Orange. I'm lost and people starts walk past me, pushing me an-and I-I urm-" Orange stammered.

"Its okay," Kiwi smiles at her.

"Oh, thanks nobody treat me that nice," Orange said softly.

"Urm not a big matter. I have a question. Those people, where are they going?"

"Oh~ they were going to get their things like what Mr.Cat had informed us"

"The guy with blue cat eyes? Was that real or it was just a make up?"

"Yup that's him. I don't know but we need to fast cause we're gonna be last"

Then they both head along with those people down the stairs and came to a dark tunnel that lighted with only candles. There they get their stuff like clothes, apparatus, items etc.
After that, they were instructed to go back to the hall. During that time Kiwi noticed a brown coloured door with silver knob had a sign hanging on it saying "Prohibited".
Back to the Hall with their things in one large provided luggage they were ask to sit on the chair arranged. "There was no chair before, maybe they arrange it during we get our stuff," Kiwi think to herself.
"Hi, may I sit beside you?"
Heard a familiar voice Kiwi turned her head and saw Orange.
"Yeah sure," Kiwi replied.

Mr. Cat step up the stage and everybody went quiet.
"Now, you warriors was selected to be part of this camp.
You'll be undergoing some training while learning.
Every morning starts with assembly here to receive the next order.
This is like a quest game for warriors.
Fun but beware of any accidents.
For now we'll decide which group you're supposed to be.
Step up here and submit your ID card.
Be no afraid cause a little blood will be drawn from you."

The crowds start to murmurs.

"CAlm, warriors shall not afraid," Mr. Cat said.

"YEah! We're the chosen warriors." Said one of the people in crowd. The others follow and cheers than starts to chant the word "warriors" that echoed around the hall.

Ding! Ding!
Everyone silence down and look at Mr. Cat.
Kiwi was quite curious of how could they easily silence down and pay attention at the presence of Mr. Cat.
Before long, all the ID cards was submitted.
"For now, you'll be resting at the temporary room tonight. Tomorrow we'll continue. REst well warriors...as the day begins tomorrow," Mr. Cat said while narrowing his eyes into the crowds.
Somehow Kiwi felt as if Mr. Cat was referring to her.

to be continue...

National service life at Kem Gambang, Kuantan, Pahang 2

2010-04-28T22:41:00.000-07:00

Well, by
11am
we'll continue our classes till its
12.30pm
This is the important time to me, duh.
Because it marks the time to lunch!
But I and my dome-mates (lets just call them A and B) usually would bath before lunch.
Because we do not want to be cramp and standing there waiting for the bathroom. It a wasting time process.
So, after we had our lunch we'll be free for a little while until
2pm
WEll, this depends. Sometimes 2.15pm/2.30pm/2.45pm they'll make an announcement asking you to gather at Padang P.Ramlee (that's what they call it).
Then activities begin after a few talk from commandant.
The activities depends on the teacher's choice. Sometimes we marched under the burning hot sun and sometimes we were ask to play things like football, net ball etc.
If there wasn't any we'll be given talk bout how to survive in the forest, creates shelter, how to attend to any injuries etc. I had to admit its sometimes is very boring that I fell asleep without realizing it.
By
4.30pm
It's minum petang.
then
5.30pm
we'll be ask to do exercise like cha-cha or poco-poco dancing.
when its
6.30pm
we'll have our dinner prepared.
But, during this time I'll be doing my "job".
Dobby.
WE (me, A, and B) well be taking care of the dirty clothes. We're AJK.
So, after the dobby we'll have our bath 1st then only we'll have out dinner. Its about 7.30pm only we'll get to have dinner. Sometimes about 8pm only we get to eat.
then the activities at night varies a bit.
For the normal MON, TUE, WED, and FRI. About
9pm
we'll be ask to gather at Dewan Makan to watch videos.
Sometimes, there's no videos or any activities until its time to minum malam or ro-call.
as for THURS...by
8.30pm
We chinese had to get ready to go classes. Its a buddha classes.
This class will end by
10.30pm
Then we'll minum malam and ready for ro-call.
10.45pm
We'll have our ro-call and by
11pm
We'll shall be back in our dome with lights off and sleep.

So, these repeats every MON-FRI.

During SAT and SUN, its a day for parents to visit, time where our hp were returned to us, and LOTZZ of free time. Except SAT had dobby while SUN don't.

So this routine repeats every week.
Sometimes it might be boring, but sometimes there's something interesting you can see.
ITs both good and BAd. Whatever it is, it'll depends on how your mindset is and what kind of view you used towards this event.

National service life at Kem Gambang, Kuantan, Pahang

2010-04-28T03:12:00.000-07:00

Can't believe that I've been surviving my days throughout at the NS camp.
well, I'm sent to kem Gambang, kuantan, Pahang. lolx
Guess I've already said that MANY times in my blogs. duh~

From what I remembered is, those days were tiring...urm well, for the 1st week-especially at night. We wasn't allowed to get our night sleep until our ro-call (I don't know how to spell it anyway).
So we get our clothes like, the PT shirt & trousers x2, class shirt & pants x2, celoreng shirt, cot & pants x2, boot, sport shoes, and class shoes...etc

Guys are called wira while girls are referred as wirawati.

I don't really remembered every details of what I gone through there.
The first encounter of me with wira (I remember it cause, I don't know-I just remember) is when I joined a group which was responsible in creating a flag for our Charlie group.
The 1st time I saw a guy, look chinese but not chinese, look malay but not malay. He's sabahan but live in Pahang. When teacher asked someone o volunteer, he step up.
Admired his williness to volunteer, I rised my hand indicate I'm joining.
Surprisingly someone followed me. She's a friend of mine-same dome with me.
Then another guy joined in. Kelantanese malay, quite a look even though he's short (hey no offense). Named Hafiz, we called him fish.
Followed up is urm...forget where he's from-his name is Amin. But for some reason we called him sailormoon. haha xD

So, the 5 of us grouped together. 1stly, we like strangers, quiet and silence surround us.
Then Fish started by asking me what opinion could I contribute. Then I just shake my head telling him I had no idea. Then we started discussing and we slowly co-operate & corroborate. Think of ideas, asking teacher's suggestion. And we finally came up with JENGKING (scorpion).
The background was light blue with yellow liner surround the outer region of the blue background which is in rectangle shape. In the middle there was the scorpion whithout eyes (many make fun of it). Maroon faded to black towards outside and the word JENKING was written under it. Then at the side there was 3 words written with red colour. urm, I forgot what was the 3 words because that was added last minute. By the way that time was 'Ching Ming' holiday. I wasn't there, so...can't blame me for forgeting it. hehe.

Too bad I couldn't upload those pics cause I don't get to take any.
Well, the memories stay in mind right? lolx (I might forget it)

Well, after my 3 days of 'Ching Ming' holiday, I came back with my friends car.
Thanks anyway to the girl who fetched me to the Gambang kem.

Then, our days started like usual.
5am woke up. Brush teeth get ready, change clothes and by
6.30am, we had to line up there at padang kawat. Carry on with exercises by chosen by teacher. until about
7.30am
Morning breakfast will be prepared.
8.30am
We shall be ready in our line according to our group (Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, Delta)
Speech from Cikgu Aizal(don't know how to spell the name-he's famous for his trademark in wishing eg. selamat PA-gi wira dan wirawati).
Sometimes there's also others teachers talking bout bla,bla,bla. I don't listen because the morning sunrise was too concentrated to me.
Our class starts.
There was 6 domes for boys and girls which label like- L1,L2,L3 and so on. As for the girls was like-P1,P2,P3 and go on till 6.
There was 6 classes. CB1 until CB6.
CB1 is for L1 and P1 and so so...
In between there was minor break they called it 'minum pagi'
About
10.30am
there was things like cake, castard, etc. for every trainers there

TO BE CONTINUE...

National Service Program...5

2010-04-28T03:11:00.000-07:00

Its hard to believe I be able to come back my home sweet home after one week of NS.
Thanks to Ching Ming I only be able to come back^^
3 days including yesterday and by Tuesday morning I'll be heading back there :(

Well, for the 1st or 2nd day there, I might have a little problem bout the toilet/bathroom there.
The toilet and the bathroom there is combine in one room, there's barely enough space for you to move a few steps.
Its kinda hard to bath.
Sometimes might even see some dead bodies of beetles there.
But, I understand that, that was the public place.
So, I've gotta get myself used to it no matter what or else I won't have the guts to bath! lolx

WEll, living there makes me realize few things:

1) My home sweet home.
-When I'm home yesterday, I've never felt so happy to be at my very own home enjoying my every little moment here. I do not need to built up any guts to use the toilet or bathroom and even do not need to think there'll be insect in my pillow or bed before I sleep. Or worry bout how dirty my blanket would felt. I felt so comfortable being at my very own place which I DO miss during my time there especially my blanket, bed and most of all, my beloved pillow. haha!

2)My family
-Never knew I would miss them during my time there.
My mom's nagging never leave my ear whenever I did any house chores or bathing there.
"Get your hair dry and clean! If you don't dry your hair you'll get headache!"
"Clean your bed"
"take care"
etc...
I have always had my dad's advice stick inside my head.
I wondering, when I'm not at home will dad keep on taking the clothes here and there, turning it inside out and etc. likes he always did?
Looking at my own clothes under the sun, I could hallucinate my dad moving the clothes around, turning it inside out, rearrange the clothes in order and so on.
Frequently, remember the times me and my bro having fun together.
Hearing my sis scoldings echoing inside my head.
GEez, although I thought I never wanted to hear all this over again...hate to admit I sometimes think of it.

3)How important technology is to me.
-During my time there...I really missed my home's machine.
the washing machine, the television, the iron, the light, the air conditioner, the computer, the radio etc.
Somehow, the process of waiting over there seems dull as if the time is not moving at all!
No music, TV, computer...seems like I've been completely out of reach with the machine world (except the fan and light provided there).
Life without washing machine is hard.
Think washing clothes using washing machine is troublesome?
Think again.
You never will realized how TRoubLesome is to wash the clothes with bare hands.
Brush, twist, turn. It really takes a lot especially when your clothes is thick.
It takes you lotz of time and energy compare to the washing did by washing machine.
Before this, I hate when I was asked to do washing by washing machine and I think its kinda troublesome.
NOW I realize it wasn't anything if compare to washing it bare hands.

4)Simplicity of life/ Natural life.
-Somehow I came to know that living in simplicity is the best. There's not much for you to worry about. All we do there, besides the activity planned, is wash, rest, sleep, sit and the best part is watching stars at night. No city, no car, no smoky air, etc.
All you see is tree, lake and river (part of it polluted already, but its still ok), beautiful stars and moon. You heard sounds of bird, and crickets and breath fresh air. It makes you feel energetic.
Well, except if they ask you to marched under the extremely hot sun during the afternoon till evening. You'll might get sunburn, or it causes you to have sensitive skin etc.

5)BE brave and willing to try something new.
-Over there, I learnt how to take part in something. Its your willingness and braveness to take part and face the crowd. !st of all, have to got the willingness then only you'll be able to gather some guts to talk and having people staring at you smiling. Do not worry they'll make fun of you, because that would decreases your self esteem and finally distinguish your fire of determination.
I did it once at one of the class. Its a character building class. We were asked to talk in front of the class bout anything, just anything.
I felt so good knowing that I was brave enough to challenge myself to be as brave as I could.

actually its kinda fun thr. Juz ignore the unfortunate stories, take gud care of urself, don't care too much bout unecessary things, n be nice to whoever, whatever, whenever you are, also obey the rules (although u might gonna break sum, pls make sure its safe enough for you to break it).

Hope I will keep on learning.
Develop a better self.
Change to an excellent whole new person.
Gained lots of experience.
Know more about something useful and good that I've never knew.
Try things that I wanna/ wish/ could try. *safety 1st still*
Most of all. Please pray for my safety over the whole training.
Please bless me.

Thank you.

National Service Program...4

2010-03-27T08:10:00.000-07:00

KUMPULAN	:	2
	PUSAT BERKUMPUL	:	STADIUM BUKIT JALIL (CAR PARK C)
	NEGERI PUSAT BERKUMPUL	:	WP KUALA LUMPUR

	NAMA KEM	:	KEM GAMBANG, KUANTAN, PAHANG
	ALAMAT KEM	:	D/A AGRO RESORT SUNGAI SEMUJI
			KM42, JALAN KUANTAN-KL

	POSKOD KEM	:	26020
	BANDAR KEM	:	KUANTAN
	NEGERI KEM	:	PAHANG

	TARIKH LAPOR	:	29-MAR-2010
	MASA LAPOR	:	09:30 AM

Yup finally gt the letter lor~~
Iwent for check up dy.
Haiz, juz whn I cn blog (which means i finally figure out my password for this blog which i 4gotten) nw i needed to go NS dy.
haiya, summore on MONday nid go dy lor.
2mr my last day lor...
my last day KB.
dunno at thr i will hw leh?
will i be able to cope?
Hmm, actually tink tink oso no bad ma. hor.
atleast i get to live outside my hs.
i cn be free from my bossy and demanding sister (sumtimes makes my life miserable, bt anyway dun get me wrong she's still a gud sis).
i cn c wat i wan c.
do wat i cn do on my free tym during NS.

Bt the the bad thing is the bathroom n toilet.
I afraid i'll be facing tat problem during most of my time thr = =
Geez, hope it doesn't interfere with my disposing of waste process.
I reli, reli, reli, reli, reli, reli, rrreli, reli, reli, reli, reli, reli, reli, reli, reli, reli, reli, reli, reli, reli, wished n hope that i wil nt facing problems regarding the process of disposing waste from my body.
= = hope so.

so, i guess again, i'll be saying gudbye to my blog for quite sum long while b4 i may be back again.
aiya, feel lyk dun wanna slp n wanna kip on typing de.
bt i'm feeling sleepy jo tim.
haizz...guess i reli hav to leave blogging for some time :(

bloggie, i'll miss u ;(

Cnt TAke it AnymOre!!

2009-11-05T07:56:00.000-08:00

Having going through my days in rages wasn't easy at all.
Every word seems offensive to me in anyway.
Every people seems rather annoying or annoyed rather than pleasing.
I felt vulnerable and so weak.
I have to let it out.
So have come to noway but to blog here.
At least I have a place to tell although there is just me and blogspot.
I knew that I wasn't suppose to blog here right now, not in SPM critical time but I really have to tell this...I'm sorry

Well, there is 1 person is annoying me for quite some time.
That particular 1 may or may not know that I am holding grudge.
I've been walking round' telling almost everybody how I hate that person.
Telling every obnoxious attitude, and how badly that person have treated etc.
(It's true, and you'll know when YOU'RE really been in MY shoe)
I thought that the particular one was a real jerk...till I self mirror lately.
I went 'round telling people this and that, this makes me look like a real jerk.
Overcome by stupidity and pure egoistic, the devil successfully taken over me.

Now I've realize that I've been a jerk just like that particular person.
Talking bad 'bout someone doesn't helped at all but make things worst.
It makes me same like that particular person.
Why should I bother so much 'bout that person?
Why should I get my name, dignity and pride into the mud by being just like that person?
I've regret in someway.
Because now I know talking bad 'bout that person will not do me good anyway.

So, one more problem left.
The problem for me here is that person keep getting on my nerves.
No matter how hard I tried.
Whenever I think of that person, my heart burns in flames of hatred.
I can't help it.
Because for every profanity that person put me in, whether literally or mentally it hurts me.
My sense of danger became aware of it and causes me to be so easily get work up.
That particular person keeps on coming to me, even when I've tried avoiding that person.
I can't keep myself out unless I won't be meeting that person.
That's when I think of involving in truancy might help me.
Get off from school would help me relax a lot, because I won't be meeting that person.
Getting that person face off from my eyesight will help DAMN a lot.
A cure for my eyesore I should say.
Why-Yes, a cure for my painful ears too. (If only YOU know what I mean)

Well, I think I'm feeling better now.
Even no one is reading this.
Even I was actually typing to myself anyway.
Even I was alone.
So? Who cares?
I'm happy even no one would bother 'bout this blog (except certain circumstances).
Cuz I'm not tryna get any attention from anybody here, now, duh~
GEez it felt good when I can really let it out like this.

A Generous Story

2009-08-07T04:24:00.000-07:00

just sumting i found in my email. hope anyone who read this may their soul be eased a little
I .e,

FReedom atlast? Wuwuwu~ no

2009-08-04T05:48:00.000-07:00

Wuargh~ Now me totally lonely at house. Bro go dating with GF. Sis n mummy went aunty house n daddy go out ady.
Why left me alone leh? lolz nola. they no so bad. haih is me sick jor. Very suffering. Sick from Saturday night till now. dunno 2moro is O.K or K.O leh?
haih~~~ nw me curi on9. (Actually I've been forbidden to on9, bt since now me alone n damn sienz no homework, kepala pening, hp expired so cnt sms fren...haiah~~)

Aiks, tot alone at house quite gud cuz cn curi on9. Manatau i so bad luck. got flu.
Thn stupid Flu go invite fren cum. So SAtu kali Fever ah, Cough ah, Sore throat ah all cum "visit" me. D*** lo. Till 2day cnt go skul.
Stay at house thr, slp? i slp til 'gao gao jor' wan go slp another time oso hard lo.
TV? Watch till me eyes pain + head oso pain. haiZZ
Radio? too far away from my bedroom, cnt hear+lazy.
Now sick till so many days oso didnt get to study ah.
Eat jor pill slp. after slp eat little tings thn eat pill n slp again.
I do like sleeping la. Bt over slp makes my head feels heavy pula.
Haiz Monday go skul tat time the teacher annouce that clas monitor hav to report to them if any of their classmate sick wor.
Thn my monitor jot down my name n few other classmate de name.
Thn teacher ask us call parents go home wor. haiz

gtg le.
daddy came bac
SShhh....bye

2moro : uh oh~

2009-07-09T15:16:00.000-07:00

Haih~~ today maybe my last day of freedom to date wit my computer n entertainment le T.T
2moro take report card.
I flunk 2 subjects...
SURELY my dad would be very mad n banned me from my beloved blog (although i've only started writing on June 30. Bt i'm in love wit blog!), my computer n my entertainment T.T
haiya~~
maybe cnt write blog s often s nw ler~~ so i muz write till i feel puas hati b4 2moro. Hahaha

Hm...2day again add math with french language.
It seems I've been blurring.
So dunno wats goin on throughout the whole day...haih~~
Like i juz ate sum drugs or wat. swtzzz

Yesterday bou, invite go yamcha on this Sat after wushu.
Bt me say no.
cuz 2moro take jor result i predict i cnt go out wit my fren jo.
Feel damn sad to miss out on my fren, cuz MAYBE all those wushu fren oso go eat lunch 2gether.
Thn its like i've missing out all the fun stuff wit my wushu frens. haih~
Feels so long didnt hv a gud chat wit yearn, shyuan, shia, li, n etc...
That day ah ren kip on inviting me go out watch transformer wit her woh...
I reli want to go out to watch wit her lo.
bt i noe i cnt go jor.
thn i rejected her.
ah~ feels bad kip on rejecting my frens invitations...
haih hu cal me get those shit result.
if i could get better result thn me cn go wit ah ren watch transformer ler.
hai~~ so miss my younger age de time.
feel so much happier.
Bt wat cn do? life goes on.

2day ah man, he stomach pain. no wonder he didnt cum kacau me n let me scold him like usual. he didnt even being noisy in class so guai except he slps in every classes.
HAHA~ it feels like 2day quite harmony without hv 2 hear him noisy n doing annoying stuff.
lolx
still he my fren. ofcuz feel bad for his sickness today.
OH ya, I still owe him money.
I ad gv back RM3 2day jo. Still owe him RM3.
maybe if i remember thn i pay him 2moro.
hoho.

2day i at school eat the burger ayam wit mayonise n tomato ( its actually a chilli sos)
Bt i swore i saw the bottle there stick "tomato" sign de lo.
hish.
luckily nt so spicy if nt i'll be wasting the burger by throwing it into the dustbin.
quite oklo the burger...bt i miss last time that auntie de burger more nice leh...
thn i eat fish ball wit mayonise again n eat hotdog...
from the info above here i cn conclude that i hv gain fat.
becuz 2day very "busy" no time exercise.
in fact, i owaz oso very "busy" de, didnt do exercise de.

juz nw wh i came back, i washed clothe n bath thn faz faz open com n blogging nonsense here. afraid 2moro maybe cnt blogging.
summore today gt tuition at kasturi thr from 4.50pm till 6pm.
thn hv to rush go cekap there n continue tuition till 8.10pm.
very tired ne =.="
hia~ nw the washing machine done washing jo.
i nid go sidai baju le.
hav to stop blogging nw.
hm feel dao so sad hv to stop blogging =.=
k la. hv 2 stop oso. cuz after the clothe business later nid go oi oi awhile oni gt 'ching sen' to go tuition. ^^

Stress out???

2009-07-07T01:15:00.000-07:00

Today my school gt education fair ne~~~
thr gt sell doctor job de book..my fren told me it oni RM3 wor. haha I than I think dao that day I buy RM5 lolx.
haizz suan nvm RM2 difference only kekeh.

I saw got foundation la, college la, university la etc de...
Than I saw dao TOA wow, the graphic design there is fantastic. So nice...The 3D video really capture my attention. I wish stand there all day long watch all the video till finish the edu fair. Bt cnt lo, cuz afta recess nt my class turn so cnt ne...
haiz finally see dao the mass com de course. I ask ask ask still I cnt get the ans I want. Even ask jo i feel still gt things wanna ask bt dunno wan ask wat. lolx
I wish to study mass com bt the costs is expensive. My fren told me to borrow from bank or get a scholarship...I'm tinking and considering to borrow money to study. Hopefully I wun get forced to study things I couldn't handle, ruin my future life or make me regret for my whole life.
Its maybe gonna be tough enuf even if u get the course that u love to study. Try imagine doing it wit course that u dun love...Juz like food.
U see lets say that u dun like sambal, Bt u go take sambal n eat it, thn sore throat, thn sick, thn hate sambal. Bt u gt no choice bt have to eat sambal becuz there oni gt sambal. Thn everytime after sambal u get sick. haiz....u dun un wat i'm talkin bout rite?? lolx nvm..
I'm talking crap n that sambal thing above is juz an example hehe.

school today seems boring...haia nw everyday went school thr like blur blur. I usually ad blur enuf jo la~ bt nw lagi blur lo @.@
blur+blur=double blur.
ad few weeks like that lo. I cant cope with my studies...DAmn worried.

Add Math
Suddenly teacher teach de add math seems so foreign to me lo. Its like she teaching numbers on the white board wit french language... swtzz =.="
BI
Thn d BI thing so swtzzz teacher gv us monthly test...WITH the ans in the book thr =.=""" I'm wordless.
BM
Still ok ok lo...juz that...like...erm...no comment :P
Math
Haiz this teacher ah. Teach, question, ask everything he do himself. Always syok sendiri there.
Its like he is scrabbling number grafiti on the white board there.
Dunno wat he say n talk lo. REcently 'mou yi chong' let him de-merit me 20 marks T.T
haih...Let him teach dao math is me bad luck. Maybe my last life muz hv done something very wrong to mathematics, So nw I owaz dun get gud math teacher since i enter secondary school. haiz...suddenly dunno y miss my primary math teacher Pn.Puspa. She last time very strict de lo. Bt I rather her teaching me using strict way thn these secondary math teacher using all these stupid de-merit system. GRRrrrrr~~~~~
Sj
Lately teacher ask us go home read thn cum scul she enter class thn start questioning us. Bt I dunno y I still cnt remember those Stupid FActs!!! it makes me stress up! haih~~~~~
Moral
Teracher juz gv note on white board...th i juz copy....thn she explain bt me no listen. cuz my ears are shut down n my soul were sum place else. darn, I shud concentrate. bt i cnt haih~~~
Biology
Teacher concern is our peka recently...so juz rushing our days to finish up our peka.
Physics
The words that have becum foreign to me for atleast a year and a half??
lolx...cnt figure out wat this subject is about.....
Chemistry
although I starts to understand this subject nw...bt i'm still WAY back behind! geez it seems like I cn never catch up with it. It seems like gt ALOTS more For me to study to understand EVERYTHING b4...SPM?!? hah~~~

According to my subjects explained above...I can summaries up that
I SO STRESS UP!!!!! and it seems my revision couldnt even help me! T.T
SO stress up!! Lately I've really in a bad mood.
My family comment me, my fren told me that I've been so easily angry at any small matters.
I've been very down throughout the days. I dun even feels like I want to talk to Ying whr I used to love to jokes around with her. Whenever I talk and I cnt get my points straight...I get angry and I juz shut up n leaving my fren wondering wats wrong wit me. feels damn guilty to my fren.
Sry Ying, couldn't cheer or hv fun wit u whn u nid 1. Feels so bad whn i'm moody I'll juz shunned off my fren n ignore them for the whole day. Feels very guilty n sry for them s my fren. Yet I didnt tell them y, bcuz i dunno wan hw tell them. Its nt their fault oso. The problems lies in me. The problem's oni between me, myself and I.

never once I feel so frustrated like nw I am.
Lately...to me I feel every saying, talks, conversation, expression, comment, advises it all seems to be against me. Like wanna keep on forcing me to admit sumting that I wasn't wrong at the 1st place!
Never do I feel so stress thn nw. haih~~~
It bcuz I found out that I dun hv enuf time to complete my syllybus for ALL my subjects.
This is stress huh? Nw only I know how my bro and sis feel like last time. No wonder they dun let me even whisper to them while they're are studying...
I listen to jay chou song now...

歌手：周杰伦 zhou jie lun (jay chou)
歌名：稻香 dao xiang
专辑：魔杰座 mo jie zuo
作词：周杰伦 zhou jie lun (jay chou)
作曲：周杰伦 zhou jie lun (jay chou)

对这个世界如果你有太多的抱怨

dui zhe ge shi jie, ruo guo ni you tai duo de bao yuan
跌倒了就不敢继续往前走

die dao le, jiu bu gan ji xu wang qian zou
为什么人要这么的脆弱堕落

wei shen me, ren yao zhe me de cui ruo, duo luo

请你打开电视看看

qing ni da kai dian shi kan kan
多少人为生命在努力勇敢的走下去

duo shao ren, wei sheng ming zai nu li yong gan de zou xia qu
我们是不是该知足

wo men shi bu shi gai zhi zu
珍惜一切就算没有拥有 zhen xi yi qie, jiu suan mei you yong you

[chorus A] beechybelle
还记得你说家是唯一的城堡

hai ji de, ni shuo jia shi wei yi de cheng bao
随着稻香河流继续奔跑

sui zhe dao xiang he liu ji xu ben pao
微微笑小时候的梦我知道

wei wei xiao, xiao shi hou de meng wo zhi dao

不要哭让萤火虫带着你逃跑

bu yao ku, rang ying huo chong dai zhe ni tao pao
乡间的歌谣永远的依靠

xiang jian de, ge yao yong yuan de yi kao
回家吧回到最初的美好

hui jia ba, hui dao zui chu de mei hao

[/chorus A] beechybelle

不要这么容易就想放弃就像我说的

bu yao zhe me rong yi jiu xiang fang qi, jiu xiang wo shuo de
追不到的梦想换个梦不就得了

zhui bu dao de meng xiang, huan ge meng bu jiu de le
为自己的人生鲜艳上色

wei zi ji de ren sheng xian yan shang se
先把爱涂上喜欢的颜色 xian ba ai tu shang xi huan de yan se

笑一个吧

xiao yi ge ba
功成名就不是目的

gong cheng ming jiu bu shi mu di
让自己快乐快了这才叫做意义

rang zi ji kuai le kuai le zhe cai jiao zuo yi yi
童年的纸飞机现在终于飞回我手里

tong nian de zhi fei ji xian zai zhong yu fei hui wo shou li

所谓的那快乐

suo wei de na kuai le
赤脚在田里追蜻蜓追到累了

chi jiao zai tian li zhui qing ting zhui dao lei le
偷摘水果被蜜蜂给叮到怕了

tou zhai shui guo bei mi feng gei ding dao pa le
谁在偷笑呢

shui zai tou xiao ne
我靠着稻草人

wo kao zhe dao cao ren
吹着风唱着歌睡着了

chui zhe feng, chang zhe ge, shui zhao le

哦哦午后吉它在虫鸣中更清脆

o o wu hou ji ta zai chong ming zhong geng qing chui
哦哦阳光洒在路上就不怕心碎

o o yang guang sa zai lu shang jiu bu pa xin sui
珍惜一切就算没有拥有

zhen xi yi qie, jiu suan mei you yong you

[repeat chorus A x2] beechybelle

Thn me think. maybe I shud try again, even if i fail again.
em...em...i may nt succeed. bt i must try...yeah go! i shud kip on trying :D
yeah...I'll try...try :]

Sunday Event

2009-07-05T06:11:00.000-07:00

Today morning suddenly bro called me asked me wanna watch movie anot wor~~
thn I say yes lo. swt. dunno y suddenly he asked me wor.
Its like 'mou yi chong' he treat me gud. I was shocked dao lo. I stunted weh =.="
Than I think nvm la. Cuz he pay for the ticket ma~~~ ahahahahaha XD
thn he say either buy transformer or ice age.
Thn afta that dunno wat happen he bought the ice age ticket wor.
he bought 2 ticket. So I can oni asked 1 fren out. Then I asked Min out lo.

Than v go walk walk afta that go watch Ice Age3 at 3.45pm
thn finished watch v go jalan-jalan again till 6.30pm oni call my bro cum fetch us home lo.
lolXz
quite ok lo. haha XD

Juz nw my sis say Jusco gt discount bra, pierre cardin brand wor~~
Thn me n my mum quick quick rushed to jusco there wanna buy bra. Mana tau reached jor find find find. Dun see gt any discount for pierre cardin bra brand. Haihzzz thn my mum asked me go ask the promoter. Thn the promoter say here dun have pierre cardin bra. Me n mummy confused jor. Thn I called my sis and ask...
...
...
Aiyo~~~ yuan lai that brand at 1 Utama there de Jusco oni gt lo. SWtzzz there oso discount bra pierre cardin. I feel very fish eh. Rushing around here n thr. Half oso wrong cuz didnt gv accurate info. swt.
Thn i asked sis y she didnt tell earlier she bought at 1U?? Thn she replied saying she thought every Jusco oso gt this brand discount ma.
Zhadao lor~~~

eeyer~~~ very many swt lo. lolx

wah~~ nw i on9 msn oni noe He blocked me jor (I named him Otis).
so sad lo...haiaz~~ get rejected indirectly...haz~~ me reli that 'cha' meh? till no ppl wan???
No wonder I've been single for 17 years laR~~~
feel damn sad nw...
Juz nw msn char with bou...thn he say bcuz me used "wrong" to display on msn oh...haia~~
thn nw he tryna help me ^^
I gt little tiny itsy bitsy hope grow in me again...haha~~
very hapi! lolxx

He likes her??

2009-07-04T00:37:00.000-07:00

SaturDay~~~
haha my fav day. hihi.
It is a day where I'll be enjoying my day ^^

In morning I'll go for school activities, Wushu.
Came home tryna finished up my homework 1st (although I'm Blogging nw haha)
Than listen to my fav song in my computer.
Open fs, Meez.com etc...

But the best of all,
DAY DREAMING! muahahaha!!

Hm...just done finished the namelist thingy. hai~~
Next friday take hari terbuka ah...
When my father know the result jor he sure banned me from anything de
feel like I want go bang wall T.T

Just now I visit fs. I find dao my crush de fs wor~~ haha!
But...eh?? he seems like interested in other girls jor wor~~
haih~~
I tryna talk to him,
but me no topic say,
he no interested to talk to me...how leh~~~~???
I wonder is that girl his gf ah?

But say truth lar~ that girl 'jin jia' Q wor,
long black nice hair,
her skin fair fair,
eyes big big,
seems so sweet,
seems very polite,
talk also feel dao she very pretty.
In fact, she beat me in everything
wuwuwu, I havent even try 'dao' anything, that girl ad beat me in everything.
swtzz, She exactly the contrast of me lo~~
haih~~~

But nvm la. This is me,
although nt Q, nt girlie, no fair skin, eyes no big enuf, nt polite, talk oso nt that polite~~~
nvm la, nvm la~~~
haih...

2009-07-02T23:40:00.000-07:00

Today went school thr quite sienzz a~~
oh, lock birthday coming soon so ern tryna plan for it wor...thn i tink of taking part lu.
So I volunteered myself to do some roses by origami. Don't get me wrong yeah. I'm juz think that my birthday that time he got celebrate mah, thn I think he oso my friend. Than like that lo.

Wah damn sienzz at school weh. Sienz until I go challenge ah chun see who can do the smallest rose origami oh. hahaha XD
thn I try do lo. Mana tau do,do,do till use tissue lai do. hahaha! ah chun say he can't oh. Than I tell himi can de, he dun belive me wor, I say if I can do than he will have to pay me RM500. After that at class I do, do, do Walauweh succeed jor wor. hahaha! I told ah chun to prepared money, than he say a lot of nonsense. hahaha XD

Haiya~ 2day 'mou yi chong' let my math teacher de-merit 20 marks eh. I kinda 'sam tong' ah. I very hardworking for those merit marks lo. According to my friend said teacher say whole class de-merit 20 cuz no hand in our homework oh. Than I was like, OMG. How come?!? Since when he give oh. What exercise oso me dunno. Damn innocent lo.
I so 'si beh song' my math teacher jor.
=.=" me innocent weh~~~
hai~~ suan ba. ad de-merit jor. dunno can do what...juz hope wun affect my SPM or my future thing or whatever have to do with my life ba =.="

Damn lo...my bro juz nw asked me bout my result. hiah~~~ I told him i flunk my sejarah and add math wor. He like so shock. 'Sei' la...I this time sure dead ah. next friday take result weh~~~
T.T

National Service Program...3

2009-07-01T23:06:00.000-07:00

I woke up in the morning today, then I straight went for my hp.

The screen says:
1 message received.

I unlock it, its message from 15888. OMG.

I wait awhile, waiting...
I felt nervous and the same time I felt confident enough that I'll never get selected for the National Service training.
So I opened it...
...
...
...
Woah!
I slap my thigh.

"What happen?", my dad asked.
I looked at him, then look at my hp screen says:

~~~*~~~
15888
RM0.20: PLKN:
Taniah! (my ic no.) (Nxxxxxxxx) terpilih
Menyertai PLKN Siri 7/2010.

sender:
15888

Message center:
+60162999927

Sent:
1-July-2009
22:45:32
~~~*~~~

...
...
...
"Dad, I've got selected for NS training," I said to my dad.
...

WEll, Its-I mean-Nah~~ I lost my words.
I went to school told my friend. They like shocked or whatsoever.
I was...AAuugggh~~ man~ stay there 3 months? I don't know when and where too.
No TV? No radio? No computer?
Its...But half in me think it'll be quite good oso. So now I have 2 different thinking. It was like,

50% Don't want go, because:
1) The salary was 300 hundred something for 3 months (according to my friend), Its too low.
2) I work outside one month I could atleast get 1000 above, even that amount wasn't enough.

50% Want to go, because:
1) Hey, look at the bright sight, you might learn new people and experiences something new!
2) Its something to do with the curricular thing or whatsoever.

haih~~~
You know what? Since i've been selected, I wISHeD and HOpeD that I'll be sending to places that is fun and far, far, far, far, far away from my house.
Pulau Redang? Terengganu? or maybe Sarawak. haha!

Ohya, and I wWIShEd and HoPEd that I'll Get to be in 1st bach. I think if I finish faster, the better :D
well anyway, PLease grant my wish? PLEASE. grant my wish and hope...thx if really being granted...and I don't know when I'll leaving? Maybe gonna 3months no reply message, no Friendster, No Meez, No games, No song, No Jay chou, No movie HAizzz~~~~~

National Service Program...2

2009-07-01T06:26:00.000-07:00

Haih~~ I'm still waiting yeah...no message came leh.
Few my friends is quite curious, so they called and asked me...I said it haven't reply yet.
Haih~~ wait till how long oh?
haih~~~

Happy Birthday? NAh~~

2009-07-01T05:47:00.000-07:00

Just now around 8.30pm something finally my family celebrated my birthday which is on
29 june 2009.
I do not know what to say.
I don't really know what to think.
I just smile away while my heart is bearing not to cry.
I do not know why I feel so sad anyway.
ahh...now lets see. Hmm...flash back to that time when that was my birthday, 29/6/09.

My fren, sms'ed me. at midnight just to be the 1st person who wish me "happy birthday". Some even wishes me on the day before my birthday.
I arrived school, walk passed friends, classmate who greet me with their smile,
"Happy Birthday :) "
I smiled back.
Early in morning, Wei wei gave me cake that she baked herself. Then Elaine, she passes me the chemist notes along with present and a birthday card. Then along the day, people wishes me happy birthday. I smiled. Secretly I'm happy that my friend remembered my birthday anyway.
My friends asks me, "Any plan to do on your birthday?" or "Celebrating with your Family today?". Some asks, "Why not going out celebrate?". I just reply saying my dad don't let me go out or I doubt my family remembers it. And Those question hurt though. It might not be a problem for ppl who don't understand it. But it...my family...
At the end of school day worm gave me present too ^^

Then my school day ended. My father came to fetched me home. When i reached home...I'm all alone at house after that my dad went out.
Somehow, I felt that thte condition wasn't so right. DIDI, DIDI. my hp rang. Woah~ 8 message received. When I opened, All of them were wishes from my friends and my cousin sis, Xuan.
hee, I smile again. But my smile faded and I feel that I've been waiting for something.
Again the lonely feel get to me. I'm all alone at my house...It seems very quiet...time passes fast.
My dad came back, just as I thought he'd remember to atleast give me the word I've waiting from my family.
Well, Nothing. I did not tell them. I'm too sad to say that, my birthday is just like that.
Even ppl who are not so close friend to me, THEY remember the day I was born to this world.
I felt my family does not appreciated me...I don't even think that they thought of me as their important family member...

Only yesterday they realize. But my birthday is over! Even at school my classmate (who isn't really my close friend also) they sang me song n a guy who's birthday is on yesterday, 30/6/09.
At night only my family notice. They asks me whether should they bought a cake?
I said no need. Secretly, I'm angry in my heart. That even those who not my close friend and they remember...
They bought a cake for me. I've told them no need to. But they still bought it. It sadden me much more than before.

haha nostalgic. I've been in one of those emo days of my life again.

lolx...
hehe...I am crying while writing this. There is still much more, but I don't know how to express them well. While reading this you might have some misunderstanding...
So...please be understanding.
hahaha XD
Joking. If you don't know me, I can't expect you to understand me right? lolx
Anyway, If you're still reading till here and now? haha thx for wasting your time here reading my rubbish thought. haha thx ^^

National Service Program...

2009-07-01T00:04:00.000-07:00

Hey yo~~ me again yeah. hehe
Today nothing special lo. Just go school. Then when I reach school, Min suddenly ask me do I get selected for the National Service (NS) training?
Than I reply her saying that I didn't check it yesterday, so I don't know wor.
Haih come to think of it kinda scary eh~~
haih throughout the days at school ppl keep on asking me did I get selected ah? haih I reply that I haven't check yet. Most my friend check jor say they don't have. But then I heard some said that is to check 1st bach de wor...still gt 2nd and 3rd dunno whether gt anot oh...haiz...dunno hw leh? My friend told me go check wor...I said I dun1 bt I think, think, think till I 'sum si si' lyk tat ne =.= "
I reli wanna noe bt me scare too...

Nw is 3.30pm...I finally made up my choices le...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
I type msg in my hp :

SEMAK PLKN my ic no. then I press send to 15888.

Yer~~~ my heart gt sound eh...
Thump...
thump...
thump...
very gan jiong ah.
Waiting it to reply ah...haiih~~~ dunno hw leh? hw leh? hw leh???
Wuwuwu~ scary lar~~
damn scary...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
Gmm, gmm,gmm~~~
suddenly my hp vibrate...I dunno hw leh...I pick up my hp...

The screen says:
1 message received

I unlock my hp...
Cheh, nt from 15888...fuh~~~
well...I guess I'll have to continue waiting lor ^^
Then I'll be continue later and let you know the result of my NS :D

My new blog?

2009-06-30T00:56:00.000-07:00

haha, helo^^
Today is my new blog here i created today.
(though i should be studying my sejarah now instead i'm creating some blog here. haha!)
Hm...hw should i start my intro??
Well, i'm a girl.
Currently in short, black hair. (maybe gonna dye it purple. haha!)
Above 160cm height. lolx i admit that i don't remember my height. hehe
Erm...kg? weight? 45kg...no i-mean 46kg...wait it increase again...48KG!! OMG!! haha yeah i'm kinda heavy too ^^
ERm, blur eye vision, which means i need spectacle...so i'm wearing speck hooray! lolx wearing glasses aren't that advantageous at all :D
Skin colour...dark + fair = dark fair...haha! juz kidding. Lolx i don't reli know how to describe my skin colour unless u meet me in person then you'll know? hehe
~*~
Recently turn 17yr old (29/6/09).
Horoscope cancer ^^
Monkey zodiac.
Born in...hm...i swore it knew whr...bt...nw i couldn't remember it. nvm bt i'm born in KL. hehe
which means i'm Malaysian.
I'm pure chinese. no mixing or anything. lolx
Currently still single...in fact i've been single for 17 yrs. So, being single ain't that bad at all. But still i wish i have 1 too >.<
~*~
Like Fun
Like comedy
Like Ice-cream
Like spongebob
Like Chocolate
Like love
Like Friends
Like family
Like Computer
Like meez
Like Games
Like song
Like Jay chou song
Like many kinda music
Like Many song
Like talk joke (althoug my jokes seems cold sometimes, lolz)
Like Blogthings
and...er...maybe you can ask me? I'll try my best hehe :D
~*~
Don't like people angry me
Don't like my friends ignore me
Don't like people hate me
Don't like make people sad
Don't like see dao Family upset of me
Don't like
~*~
HAte people accused me for something i've not in wrong T.T

hehe thats my intro^^
again con later :D